THIS IS A CRUEL WORLD
A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night! My daughter walked into the living room and said, ‘Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.’ "
"Holy Smokes!" replied the friend, "She actually said that?"
"Well, she didn't put it quite like that, she actually said"...
“Dad, meet my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary's election campaign.”
Obama, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a Psychic about the date of his death.
Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer: “You will die on a Jewish holiday.”
“Which one?'” Obama asks nervously.
“It doesn’t matter.” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it’ll be a Jewish holiday
I was walking through the mall, and went into a Muslim Bookshop.
The clerk asked if he could help me, so I asked for a copy of the
Australian Immigration Policy Book.
The Clerk said "Fuck off, Get Out and Stay Out."
I said, "Yes that’s the one
Q. What is the difference between the Prophet Muhammad and Michael Jackson?
A. One is a pedophile child rapist and the other recorded six platinum albums.
Q. Why don’t Muslims eat pork?
A. The Koran forbids cannibalism.
Q. Why do Arab men wear dirty bed sheets?
A. Because a camel can hear the sound of a zipper from a mile away.
Q. What’s the difference between Mecca and a bowl of yogurt?
A. The yogurt has a living culture.
Q. How do you get a Muslim out of a shower?
A. Turn the water on.
Once alienated,
an "unalienable right" is apt to be forever lost, in which case we are no longer
even remotely the last best hope of earth but merely a seedy imperial state
whose citizens are kept in line by SWAT teams and whose way of death, not life,
is universally imitated.
Gore Vidal
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked
in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.
In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over,
he called his doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,
gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and said,
"That tasted like bullsh*t!"
"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."
courtesy of PC
A lonely man on the beach
> A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
>
>
> After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
>
>
> One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
>
>
> As they sat there, the sheep started looking better
> and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over
> to the sheep and put his arm around it.
>
>
> The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
>
>
> After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
>
>
> A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.
>
>
> That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
>
>
> Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings
> again. He fought the urges as long as he could but
> he finally gave-in and leaned over to Hillary and
> told her he hadn't had sex for months.
>
>
> Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
>
>
> He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.'
Double click to edit
> Meant
> to be Scary,
> and make you
> Think!
>
> A lot
> of people have
> brought up the
> fact that they
> won't vote for
> Trump if he's
> the eventual
> nominee. I
> just want to
> put something
> in
> perspective.
>
> Justice
> Scalia's seat
> is vacant.
> Ginsberg is 82
> years old,
> Kennedy is 79,
> Breyer is 77,
> and Thomas is
> 67. Nowadays,
> the data shows
> that the
> average age of
> a Supreme
> Court
> retirement or
> death occurs
> after 75.
>
> These
> are 5
> vacancies that
> will likely
> come up over
> the next 4-8
> years. The
> next President
> will have the
> power to
> potentially
> create a 7-2
> Supreme Court
> skewed in
> their
> ideology.
>
> Think
> about that...
> 7-2. If the
> next President
> appoints 5
> young
> justices, it
> will guarantee
> control of the
> Supreme Court
> for an entire
> generation.
> And 7-2
> decisions will
> hold up much
> more over time
> than 5-4
> decisions
> which are
> seemed to be
> lacking in
> mandate.
>
> Hillary
> has made it
> clear she will
> use the
> Supreme Court
> to go after
> the 2nd
> Amendment. She
> has literally
> said that the
> Supreme Court
> was wrong in
> its Heller
> decision
> stating that
> the Court
> should
> overturn and
> remove the
> individual
> right to keep
> and bear arms.
> Period.
>
> Everyone
> saying that
> they won't
> vote for one
> candidate or
> the other if
> they are the
> GOP nominee,
> please realize
> this: If
> Hillary
> Clinton wins
> and gets to
> make these
> appointments,
> you likely
> will never see
> another
> Conservative
> victory at the
> Supreme Court
> level for the
> rest of your
> life. Ever.
>
> If you
> are a
> Conservative
> and/or simply
> care about our
> long term
> future, a vote
> for anyone BUT
> the GOP
> nominee; even
> NOT voting, is
> a vote for
> Hillary
> Clinton.
